Jokes Viewer

No one truly knows who's Chuck Norris' real father. No one is biologically strong enough for this. He must've conceived himself.

Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Sammy Sosa didn't really take steriods, they just got batting tips from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris gets 5% cash back on all hand written checks.

On June 7th 1994, Chuck Norris entered the same restaurant supermodel Cindy Crawford was eating at. Instinctively, Cindy swept everything off the table, threw herself on it in a fit of lust, and begged Chuck to ravish her. After Chuck finished his beer, he obliged her. When Chuck's magnificent lead sperm cannoned into Cindy's womb it went straight to one of her ovaries and roared, "Which one of you servile wenches thinks you can handle getting split open by the Chuck!?" All of the eggs cowered in the corner. The same thing happened at the other ovary. "I didn't fucking think so!" shouted the lead sperm which then lead the rest of the troops back into Chuck's balls. Chuck pulled out; roundhouse kicked Cindy in the face and told her, "Don't ever waste my time again."

The Chuck Norris Facts sites are actually pages taken from Chuck Norris daily diary

Chuck Norris once farted on someone and was a very gross one that the man got sick with a disease. This disease is now what we call: Ebola.

Steven Segal onece challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face. this is why Steven Segal talks funny

Chuck Norris once got a 500 game in bowling. Without a ball. Or pins. Or oxygen. And nobody has ever worked up the courage to ask him how.

Chuck Norris can hit a golf ball twice with one swing.

Chuck Norris completed all missions on his "Call of Duty 4: Modern Warefare" game when set, on Prestige Level 55 "Deathmatch" setting & while standing on his head, blindfolded, hancuffed and wearing earplugs. And with his Guitar Hero controller.