Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris loves all of his dogs, cats and horses .... with onions and gravy paired with a yak cheese, condor foie gras schmear on melba toast and a gallon jug of muscatel.

Chuck Norris lives in the guest house at his Texas palatial estate. Only his main house mansion is spacious enough to store all of his guns, ammo and ninja death stars.

Chuck Norris is so awesome, he caused blindness to the whole bat species just by his sheer awesomeness. Infact, if you listen intently all the bats shriek "Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris!".

Chuck Norris owns property in the Uncanny Valley

McDonald's got the idea of putting "Billions Served" on their signs after their founder visited Chuck Norris' house and saw his "Billions of Heads Severed" plaque on the wall.

Chuck Norris can literally hand you your ass in a handbag. And then pull it out and kick it up between your ears.

Chuck Norris actually ghost wrote all of Ernest Hemingway's novels and taught him the virtues of Key West fishing, rum drinking at Sloppy Joe's & whores.

All people with hemorrhoids have been the recipient of a Chuck Norris roundhose kick to the mouth that was delivered so severely that it caused their tounge, tonsils and adenoids to protrude from their asshole.

Sudden Death is: a. a crappy movie starring an even crappier Jean Claude Van Damme b. the way playoff overtimes are decided in the NHL c. what happens to you when you piss off Chuck Norris d. all of the above

When Chuck Norris walks into a bar, he automatically owns all the women inside and instantly has an infinite tab.