Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris was originally cast for the main character in the hit series 24. The directors had to cut him because he killed all of the worlds terrorist in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

When singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, Chuck Norris takes one down and doesn't pass it around.

Whenever you say to yourself, 'at least it can't get any worse than this', that's usually the exact moment when Chuck Norris penetrates your mother.

Chuck Norris calls up Billy Ray Cyrus at least once a week to laugh at him.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

It was going to be called 'Expendables 2: The One With Chuck Norris', but he decided to give all the other movies a break.

When Chuck Norris has heartburn he eats a dozen Bhut Jolokia peppers then he drinks a gallon of napalm, then he eats a lit cigarette

Chuck Norris ran out of fucks to give ages ago. And he didn't have all that many to begin with.

Chuck Norris was once challenged to a game of chess by a chess master! A couple of hours into the game, the chess master moved his queen to b7, putting Chuck Norris into check mate! However, Chuck Norris moved his fist into the chess master's face and moved his foot into the chess master's ass, thereby winning the game of chess forever!

The automobile air bag was originally a failed invention to try and soften a blow from a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.