Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked the man who shot Liberty Vallance.

Chuck Norris makes Saudia Arabia sell him gasoline for 3 cents per gallon. Then at the end of each month they rebate him at the rate of $100 per gallon purchased.

MUGEN's several depictions of Chuck Norris are actually based on strands of Chuck Norris's beard.

Chuck Norris created the All-Spark.

Norris 25:17. "The path of the righteous man (me) is beset on all sides by the inequities of the dumbasses and the tyranny of suited girlymen. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, sends boxes of cigars and crates of beer to me. For I am truly the Mack Daddy and the killer of lost children. And I will roundhouse kick thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to look at me sideways. And you will know I am the Lord, Chuck Norris, when I lay my vengeance upon you."

If you ever find yourself watching a Total Gym infomercial, take comfort in the fact that Chuck Norris will not kill you at that exact moment. However, if you change the channel, all bets are off. The best thing to do is to order twelve of them immediately.

The universe is always expanding- all of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris

Elmo was originally blue and had a deep voice. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him 4 times. The last kick changed his voice.

Chuck Norris has never struck out in Baseball. He simply stares at the ball, and it gets out of his way.

The single most successful anti-smoking measure was a commercial in the 1980's. In the commercial, there is a man smoking a cigarette. A voice then exclaims "Smoking will kill you." Nothing happens, until Chuck Norris blasts through the wall and kills the man with a single round house kick.