Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris was asked his opinion of the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates. Chuck said all of them are about as useless as zombie puke.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the face so hard that the man's eyeballs protruded from his asshole. This malady was diagnosed by emergency room personnel as a new medical condition known as 'Optical Rectumitis'.

Chuck Norris played Doom in the Nightmare level, without being hit. All of them.

21 December 2012 was to be the day the Mayans predicted somebody would tell Chuck Norris that he's not so cool after all.

It was once called Bad Friday. Then Chuck Norris promised to stay at home for one Friday every year.

Clearly, Chuck Norris has more bad-assedness in his beard than all of the other Expendables combined and squared.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

Fifty Shades Of Grey was originally about Chuck Norris' back hair.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Sometimes it's hard to see Chuck Norris for all the steam rising from his 'nads.