Jokes Viewer

Only Chuck Norris is allowed to take a dump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Onlookers boating in the bay celebrate the event by getting shit faced before the party drinking begins.

Chuck Norris once launched a massive reverse roundhouse kick at a man's face, missed and struck a conrete wall. The man died anyway from the percussion shock.

Chuck Norris once thought that he a hemorrhoid on his asshole. When it fell off, he discovered is was actually a huge tick that died from blood poisoning.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once ate a whole turtle and when he crapped it out it was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two wooden rods attached to a chain were originally called Nunwaldos. Nobody knows what happened to Waldo but they are still looking for him.

Chuck Norris was at a drugstore recently and mistaken for an employee. A lady asked "do you have cotton balls"? Chuck replied "no ma'am, mine are solid meat".

Michael Jordan is the Chuck Norris of basketball.

Chuck Norris can tgjiethgrvljhjdhntsrndkhjdkhkfghbjrdsnhwedjkwbnjdfss HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! STOP! PLEASE! I BEG UH He died. I knew what he was going to say. It's super secret. if anyone knows, they die. Oh, and he was using this software called "Dragon": it's a speech-to-text device. - Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris goes to an ATM, the machine empties itself of all cash to Chuck Norris out of sheer terror.

If you ever say 'have a nice day' to Chuck Norris, he will of course reply 'don't mind if I do' then immediately stab you in the throat with his car keys and enthusiastically bone your girlfriend as you die.