Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris has been meaning to get a penis reduction for years now, but his pride won't allow him to accept the countless invitations from limping, bow-legged women to pay for the procedure.

Good Will Hunting was originally going to be called Good Chuck Norris. However, after producers watched the test footage (shot by Norris himself), they realized the constant graphic violence and extended hardcore sex scenes were too much for a mainstream audience, so, they decided to get a bunch of pussies to make a movie for wimps instead.

Last year Chuck Norris went to Cannes Film Festival. On seeing him, a huge crowd of fans gathered, chanting "au-to-graph! au-to-graph!" in unison. Not to disappoint his ardent fans, he delivered a lightning fast roundhouse kick to the nearest fan, dropping him dead instantly. Chuck Norris beamed. The terrified fans changed their chant to "NO autograph! NO autograph! NO autograph!". Chuck Norris gave all of them his autograph anyway. Later in the evening he had sex with Gisele Bundchen.

Football was invented when Chuck Norris kicked a pig 100 yards and caught it before it hit the ground , knocking down 11large men in the process . Then he had sex with eight girls in short skirts with large pom-poms .

Chuck Norris if you read thi s please let me suck your balls to show you how gay I am

When Barack Obama said "Yes we can," he actually was referring to Chuck Norris

Side effects to Chuck Norris sex: vagina set on fire; putting out fire with own orgasm; euphoric sobbing; broken bones; end of the Mayan Long Count Calendar; cops show up complaining about the screaming; dead cops; face shines with ethereal glory; Jeff Gordon's gay; curtain of the temple is rent in twain; all colors in the visible spectrum turn black.

Justin Bieber, God and Chuck Norris are all on a tall building. Underneath is a very busy road. They all pull their trousers down to measure their dick size. Bieber had no dick, so he fell off. Norris started swinging, so God asked why. He replied "I am dodging traffic".

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.