Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris can swallow his tongue, reel out two feet of toilet paper and wipe his own ass with it.

Chuck Norris, Arnold Swarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were going to swim across the Atlantic. Arnold swam a mile, then gave up. Stallone swam two miles, then gave up. Chuck swam day and night for weeks. When he was a hundred yards away from the coast of Europe he said; "I'm bored" and turned around and swam back home.

The U.S. Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment specifically exempts Chuck Norris.

According to Forrest Gump: "Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is actually not pissing off Chuck Norris. And that's all I have to say about that!"

It's a little known fact that Chuck Norris's cat had a part in Harry Potter. To conceal her identity they called her " Mrs Norris".

What Chuck Norris calls a "chaser" is what you and I call "cobra venom".

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Grim Reaper can process them.

Chuck Norris put 5 of his good friends in the hospital, after they challenged him to a pillow fight.

Michael Jordan was recently asked who he thought was the greatest basketball player in the world. His answer? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was originally cast to play the Terminator. However, the directors realized that if Chuck Norris was the Terminator, there would be no human resistence.