Jokes Viewer

When Chuck Norris brutally murders you, he will send the cleanup bill to your immediate family, and they'd better fucking pay.

All your base are belong to Chuck Norris.

Sam Jackson is the only person to ever out-surf Chuck Norris at Chadderton baths. Incidentally, Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face, and the force put him in a roundhouse induced coma for the rest of his natural life...

The Eiffel Tower was originally built by Chuck Norris out of the scrap metal in his back yard, as a monument to his manhood. When he got 12, he decided the monument didn't quite live up to what it was supposed to represent, and did the only appropriate thing. He gave it to the French.

If any one who gets this message should know to never call Chuck Norris a fraud or you will end up like me and the rest who are in Chuck Norrie's stomach being prepared to be slowly digested without knowing it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked SpongeBob SquarePants in the butt so hard that SpongeBob had to legally change his name to SpongeBob ParallelogramPants.

The City of Douche, NJ formally changed it's name to Hackensack after Chuck Norris spent a night in the local Motel 6 & simultaniously screwed 12 of the city's female taxi drivers.

Every woman who has experienced multiple orgasms has one thing in common with all the others: each one was with Chuck Norris at the time.

If Chuck Norris ever allowed a sports team to be named after him, that team would never lose again...except when Chuck Norris played against it.

Over the years, Chuck Norris has had thousands of tattoos, but because of his healing factor they usually fade within a few hours. He just sometimes likes to impress his dates by getting big sleeves, back-tatts and a '666' on his forehead.