Jokes Viewer

The eleventh Commandment: 'Disregard all of the above when Chuck Norris tells you to do his bidding.'

Chuck Norris can blow up a steel wall by touching it with his left pinkie toe.

Chuck Norris wants all South Carolina beach goers to feel safe because he will personally be extracting all the teeth from all area sharks this 4th of July weekend.

Chuck Norris wears a size 2 ballet slipper.

Chuck Norris went back to the past and impregnate hisself to make the purest chuck we know today. We can call him prime chuck.

Chuck Norris knows all the words in the dictionary, except the word "Mercy".

Chuck Norris once challenged Cool Hand Luke to an egg eating contest. Chuck Norris beat Cool Hand Luke by eating 500 eggs to Luke's record of 50. Chuck Norris's bowel movement after he ate all those eggs later starred in the 80's film "Howard the Duck!"

Finally, many of you may be wondering why Republican candidate Mike Huckabee couldn't gain the GOP nomination even with help from the great Chuck Norris. We don't know why exactly, but conspiracy theorists may see some tie in with this legend about Norris: Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris once stabbed a man with a bowling ball.

When Chuck Norris pummels the shit outta you, get yourself to a hospital, and tell 'em Chuck sent you - they've got a special ward all ready to go.