Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris once opened a can of Campbells chicken noodle soup with his eyeballs.

One summer day, Chuck Norris was grilling steaks in his backyard when Bobby Flay approached him and challenged him to a Throwdown. Six hours later, surgeons were successful in reducing the swelling in Bobby's brain caused by a perfectly placed roundhouse kick to Bobby's temple. Prior to surgery, Bobby's head swelled up as big as Alton Browns head...

The 7 wonders of the world were actually Chuck Norris' science fair projects. And Chuck Norris is the 8th wonder of the world.

Chuck Norris once rhymed "pain" with "balls." No one called him on it.

Chuck Norris does not have elephantitis on his balls. He is just well-endowed.

Just to prove Darwin's theory of evolution wrong, Chuck Norris went 300 billion years back in time and killed the world's first amoeba. He then returned to modern day and killed all the world's Dawinists, thus proving the Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest to be correct.

While waiting at the drive up window at the local KFC for his order of lobster thermidor, Chuck Norris chugged a gallon of Wild Turkey. When his order arrived, he barfed in the cashiers face and drove off laughing.

The term 'crack a smile' actually was slang for one of Chuck Norris' signature moves, one he mainly uses for killing smug assholes.The term 'crack a smile' actually was slang for one of Chuck Norris' signature moves, one he mainly uses for killing smug assholes.

Chuck Norris won the 2014 Pulitzer Prize for his 874 page short story called "Me, Chuck Norris".

Chuck Norris is the only man that is allowed to have his cell phone on in a hospital, because he is the one that puts people in the hospital