Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris can lick the live end of a 50,000 watt cable and call it ice-cream.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? A: All of it...

Chuck Norris once took a dump on Wall Street. The turd he left is now known as the Bronze Bull.

When Chuck Norris action figures first came out they had a recall, because they were beating the shit out of little kids.

The most difficult thing about making the Total Gym commercials was keeping Christie Brinkley from tearing off her clothes and begging Chuck Norris, "Take me, Chuck Norris, you magnificient bearded stallion!"

If Chuck Norris imagines roundhouse kicking someone, that roundhouse kick actually hurts someone. Try not to imagine him imagining that.

The Beatles are on itunes because Chuck Norris finally bought a Mac.

Chuck Norris can kill more people before 9 A.M. than most armies can kill all day.

Chuck Norris can break your neck with his tongue, tear your heart out with his eyelashes and kick you in the dick with enough force to leave a mushroom-shaped hole in the brick wall behind you.

In 1978, a suicidal man,convinced that insulting Chuck Norris would result in instant death, walked right up to him and called him 'Shmuck Novice' to his face. You don't wanna know what is still happening to him.