Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at a Catholic confession booth, and he fucking well got it. He then reversed his Hummer back through the hole in the wall.

When Chuck Norris was 5, he went to the Mall to see Santa. Santa asked "what would you like little boy, a train set? A bike? Chuck replied "no Santa, I want a rocket launcher".

Errol Flynn once tried to grow a Chuck Norris beard. Which of course is why he died such a brutally violent death.

Chuck Norris was at a bar when a drunken guy called him a pussy. Chuck punched him so hard his kidneys shut down.

Chuck Norris keeps a small collapsable guillotine in the trunk of his Hummer.

Chuck Norris owns a chain of Starchucks along the Pacific north-west, for all your coffee, alcohol and firearms needs.

Chuck Norris completed the Tough Guy Challenge by doing nothing.

Chuck Norris can literally order Flied Lice at a Chinese takeout.

Chuck Norris finished every Call of Duty games in less than 15 minutes..........without shooting a single bullet.

When playing Blackjack, Chuck Norris wears a 50-gallon cowboy hat, huge bug-eye wraparound shades and a black velvet leisure suit covered in diamond studs. He keeps a loaded Uzi on the table while he plays.