Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris isn't all that interested in astronomy. The only stars Chuck Norris cares about are the 50 on the flag of the USA, the one that's part of his Ranger badge, and the Lone Star of Texas.

King Solomon suggested cutting the baby in half. Chuck Norris ACTUALLY cut the baby in half, ate it, and proceeded to impregnate both women while bellowing " The essence of this baby will live on through the gift of my mighty seed!"

Chuck Norris invented the kangaroo when he ripped the front legs off a dog and threw it all the way to Australia.

It should be blatantly obvious to all, but it still bears repeating: never, ever, EVER ask Chuck Norris to take his boots off when he enters your house.

Chuck Norris single handedly roundhouse kicked the butt of every player, coach, waterboy and fan of the Florida State University Seminoles football team. They are now known as the Semiholes.

Chuck Norris can finish an "all you can eat" buffet.

Metallica's James Hetfield calls himself a table. Chuck Norris just calls himself a winner.

Chuck Norris once decided to sell his saliva as an areosol spray. He called it "WD-40"

Chuck Norris is the landlord of the Hall of Justice.

When there's something bad in your neighborhood... Who you gonna call? CHUCK NORRIS!