Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris' toilet is actually Henry VIII's throne with a shotgun hole in the seat.

When Chuck Norris walks through dark alleys, muggers give Chuck THEIR wallets.

Stephen Hawking doesn't really have Lou Gehrig's Disease. He's been confined to his chair after angering Chuck Norris.

Contrary to popular belief, the first Thanksgiving was actually celebrated in 34,587 B.C. after an ancestor of Chuck Norris stabbed to death a Teradactyl that was attacking Fred Flintstone.

Chuck Norris once farted 5 times while in the check-out line at a Bass Pro Shop. Three Bass Pro Shop employees were immediately hospitalized after accusing Chuck Norris of attempting to steal a duck call and some stink bait.

Chuck Norris doesn't just bend space-time, he can turn it into a goddamn balloon animal.

Chuck Norris attended last year's Nobel Prize ceremony wearing an all-white snakeskin pimp suit with matching widebrim hat and feather.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

As an incredible fusion drummer/percussionist, Chuck Norris is all about shoving that groove so deep in the pocket it hits your ball sack with extreme prejudice.

Chuck Norris never has a plan "B'. He never has a fucking plan 'A' either - all he needs is plan 'C' for Chuck.