Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris can finish a fat Cuban cigar in a single massive drag. He will then crunch up and swallow the roach, and stare at you while slowly exhaling through his nostrils.

When Chuck Norris strikes, it is literally like lightning. Count in seconds after a flash before you hear the thunder. that's how far away he is.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Osama bin Laden actually shot HIMSELF in the head. The first SEAL in said "hit the floor!". bin Laden thought he said "hi, I'm Chuck Norris!".

Chuck Norris installed Skynet on his iPod.

Chuck Norris was once asked in an interview what he thought about all the Chuck Norris jokes going around. He simply said "They aren't jokes" and went back to drinking his mug of nails.

On his way to St. Ives, Chuck Norris killed a man with seven wives. He then fucked all seven wives and stomped a SHITLOAD of cats and kittens to death.

When Chuck Norris was born his Dr did the customary slap on the ass. Chuck didnt appreciate this so he punched the Dr in the balls.

The Chuck Norris family once had a weiner roast in what was formally called the Mojave Forrest.

Paul McCartney eats a vegan diet all the time -- except when he eats in the presence of Chuck Norris.