Jokes Viewer

Want to have the scariest Halloween costume ever...dress up as Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris invented Kotex MaxiPads. Originally they were used in hospital ER's to stop profuse bleeding from any part of his victim's body.

The Internet Movie Database reports that Chuck Norris has appeared in 38 films to date. This of course doesn't count the literally thousands of porno and snuff movies Chuck Norris has starred in and/or directed.

Chuck Norris usually prefers to travel on the OUTSIDE of taxis, trains and commercial aircraft.

Chuck Norris is basically a giant throbbing pair of testicles with a cowboy hat and beard.

Chuck Norris'new show is called "12" because he doesn't need "24".

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone

Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

Chuck Norris drank up all his alcohol. Then he puked out guns. Hell yeah i said guns. He used them to kill people.

The duck billed platypus is the result of a duck being roundhouse kicked in the head far to close to a beaver by Chuck Norris. The fact yay they have a pouch is a testament to the genetically altering properties of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick to the head.