Jokes Viewer

Chuck Norris invented a game called hid and go peek

did you ever notice that quidditch rhymes with spinach so harry potter is actually Popeye and we all know Popeye is actually Chuck Norris's penis so by that logic Chuck Norris's penis eats spinach flexes, and avada-round house kicks you in the face!

Chuck Norris could order a steak at PETA's cafeteria and get one. But he's far more likely to kick the shit out of all the candy-asses in the place before roundhousing the building into rubble.

"For Chuck Norris so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, Chuck Norris, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -- John 3:16

Chuck Norris once had a running race with a tortoise. In the middle of the race, Chuck Norris decided to take a nap. The tortoise managed to cover the distance and win the race while Chuck Norris was sleeping. On realizing he had won the race, the shocked and fear-stricken tortoise ran and hid in the depths of the Pacific ocean. Long story short, Chuck Norris has the shell of that tortoise hung on the wall of his house as a message to everyone that "No one wins Chuck Norris, no matter what".

Chuck Norris doesn't get called for jury duty. He gets called on to act as executioner.

Chuck Norris has gotten wind that some "Twilighters" think Chuck Norris facts are actually Edward Cullen's!? Chuck Norris' response to this --- "Choose the wolf, Bella. The pale-skinned white man is nothing but a sparkling fancy-pansy" 'cause there is no theory of evolution - just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

At the dawn of time, Chuck Norris and Mr. T sat in an empty universe, bored with nothing to destroy, so they decided to arm wrestle. The competition began - it raged on for days and days, with thunderclaps of pure energy jolting off of their bulging muscles, ripping holes through reality, and creating the universe as we know it. Finally, after much-ado, and with one emphatic thud, Mr. T beat Chuck Norris at arm wrestling... ...And thus, Chuck Norris invented racism, and roundhouse kicked Mr. T into a bad 1980's TV show.

Someone once accused Chuck Norris of offering a call girl $1000 for an evening of sex. That's a damn lie. Call girls offer Chuck Norris well over $1000 for an evening of sex.

Chuck Norris does not save people's cellphone numbers. If he wants to call He guesses the number and always guesses right Chuck Norris never learned to drive. He just knew it Chuck Norris farted once.It was the 6 august 1945 in hiroshima japan.During world war II. The media covered him up saying it was an atomic bomb My email adress is nmkauka@hotmail.com. I'm a humorist #A_Reason_To_laugh