Jokes Viewer

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

Chuck Norris can power-shit a large ball bearing through your skull from half a mile away.

Whenever Chuck Norris sees a world touched by war, thousands of soldiers dying and mortars exploding, guns guns and more guns are firing....He really just wants to nuke the crap outta it.

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

Chuck Norris injects hot coffee directly into his eyeballs.

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.