Jokes Viewer

When Chuck Norris points a gun at you you're actually safer

The children's song 'Knick-Knack-Paddy-Whack' is factually based on an incident that occured on Chuck Norris' 70th birthday in which he beat the hell out of 15 UFC fighters in a rice paddy using only his thumb, a shoe and a small porcelain figurine. Following this incident he then rolled on home and fed his dog a bone.

It used to be called goodminton before Chuck Norris tried it.

Chuck Norris killed all the dinosaurs and burried the corpses.

Peanut Butter has a Chuck Norris allergy...

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum balls. He chews bawling balls.

Chuck Norris likes to keep his lawn growing tall and thick so that whenever he has unwanted visitors, he can slip out of his house unnoticed and stalk them like prey. He then jumps toward them like a magnificent lion of the African plains and delivers a fatal roundhouse kick to their face.

Because of their resemblance to volleyballs, Chuck Norris had the brandname 'Wilson' tattooed on both his testicles. Then, on a whim, he tracked down Tom Hanks and threw him through a plate glass window.

Larry the Cable Guy was a nuclear science physics professor at MIT for only 3 seconds more after he called Chuck Norris' mother a "slutty beatch of a crack whore".

The Terminator movies were written specifically with Chuck Norris in mind for the title role, and was originally called the Walkernator. The only differences were that the T-800 would always wear a cowboy hat and smoke cigars.